It was over 20 years ago, but I remember the restless anxiety like it was yesterday. I sat back in our hand-me-down green recliner with my feet up and my pregnant belly weighing me down. Exhausted from unpacking boxes, these were the first minutes I’d had to sit down and rest since my husband had left the house to begin his new job that morning.
But even though my body begged to rest, my heart and mind were astir with doubt and anxiety.
Wasn’t there something I was supposed to be doing as the new minister’s wife?
What if I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to be doing? What if I should be out meeting people, or at least on the phone introducing myself or maybe even organizing some sort of open house so folks could drop in and see what we had done with the gorgeous parsonage they’d supplied us?
My husband had just left for work an hour before and I was already wondering if I was doing the role of pastor’s wife right!
I heard Shaunti Feldhahn, a popular writer and speaker on all things gender related, say once that men have a common concern among them: that someone is going to notice that they don’t know what they’re doing and they’re not doing it right. Sure enough, I see how men could wonder that. Most men tie their identity tightly to their job performance after all.
But I believe many women harbour that same insecurity, whether it’s related to a job or task or more tied to our relationships.
We wonder am I “doing it right?” in the areas of
- being a friend
- following Christ
- being a wife
- achieving our dreams
- engaging with or caring for our parents
- managing our time
- you name it!