Kay Harms

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07/01/19

Why I’ve Been Wading in the Shallow End

Surprise! Did you have to do a double take when you saw that I’d posted a new blog post? Hahaha! Yes, I’ve been MIA for about a year…or more. I think I’m ready to meet you here more often again though. But first let me explain where I’ve been. I’ve been wading in the shallow end…and loving every minute of it.

Wading in the Shallow End
Photo by wang xi on Unsplash

About sixteen months ago I launched another website besides this one. Quite simply, that’s where I’ve been hanging out. (It strikes me that I sound like an unfaithful spouse coming clean! And that’s a little how I feel.)

I hate it that I’ve been so silent over here on this devotional website. I missed the weighty and profound things we talked about here. It feels good to go so deep with sisters in Christ, and for the past year I’ve missed the sweet opportunities you gave me to pour into your life.

But, as much as I missed our heart-to-heart talks here, I needed to wade into the shallow waters to begin some new conversations.

Women and Pools and Conversations

I remember as a young mom taking my kids to a community pool with a friend of mine and her children. Exhausted from wrangling children and tending house and picking up after dogs and cooking endless meals, we’d load our kids into our respective mommy vans and meet at the pool.

Once the children were outfitted with floaties and sunscreen and goggles, my pal and I would deck our lawn chairs with towels and lie back to melt into the warmth of the sun. Silence prevailed as we just b r e a t h e d.

But it wouldn’t take long for the piercing Texas sun to chase us into the water, sweaty and desperate for relief. My friend would usually enter head first from the diving board while I jumped feet first from the side, plunging deep into the cold water. We’d tread water a minute or two…counting that as our exercise for the day…and then we’d swim to the shallow end of the pool.

Usually about this time we had to remind a child or two that they had friends to play with and to “leave us alone or we’re going home!” Then my friend and I would sidle over to the edge of the pool and lean into the tiled surface where we’d finally start what we really came to the pool for to begin with. Conversation.

It’s hard to talk about much when you’re sweating it out in the heat of the day. And you certainly can’t focus on the conversation very long if you’re treading water in the deep end or getting in a few strokes under water.

But in the shallow end I’ve had some of my deepest conversations.

And that, dear gal, is where I’ve been. I’ve been lingering persistently in the shallow end of the pool so I could go deep with some sweet new friends.

Where the Water is Shallow but the Talk Goes Deep

In March of 2018 I launched Dressed for My Day so that I could meet up with women like you and me who want to talk about the shallow things. We all do, you know. Even the deepest women I know enjoy spending a few minutes soaking in the pleasures of shallow conversations.

At Dressed for My Day I post fashion looks, beauty tips and fitness ideas, primarily for women 50+. I even earn a part-time paycheck (doing a full-time job) by providing affiliate links through which women can shop for the looks I’m sharing. And occasionally I partner with a clothing brand to tell women more about their offerings.

Yeah, I guess that’s all pretty shallow in the grand scheme of things.

But I don’t regret hanging out in the shallow end for the past year one bit. In fact, I’ve had some deep conversations in that shallow water. You see at the end of every fashion, beauty or fitness post, I include a blessing for the day. It’s usually just a verse or two of scripture and a few thoughts from my daily quiet time. But these simple words seem to resonate with the women who have joined me at the edge of the shallow end of the pool.

In the shallow waters of Dressed for My Day I’ve had the opportunity to speak into the lives of both believers and non-believers. I’ve given words of perspective, hope, encouragement, truth and grace. And I’ve also met a vibrant and beautiful group of Christian women from all over the world.

Why I’m Telling You This

I’m sharing this with you for a few reasons. First of all, I want you to know where I’ve been. I’ve not become a shallow woman; I’ve just been cultivating deep relationships in the shallow end.

Second, I want you to know that I’ll continue to do just what my friend and I did on those steamy hot summer afternoons in Texas. I’ll take the occasional plunge into the deep end, but I’m going to keep hanging out in the shallow waters…where deep conversations flow more freely.

Finally, I want to encourage you to join me in the shallow end. Sure, I’d love it if you made your way over to Dressed for My Day and joined the conversations there. But more importantly, I hope you will stop treading water in the deep and weighty areas of your own life long enough to seek out tamer waters of your own…at least occasionally.

Join a knitting group, take a ceramics class, go for a hike with a friend or, hey, meet a gal pal at the pool. It’s hot out there! Look I’m all for investing our time in women’s Bible studies and prayer meetings and mentoring sessions and such. Lord, knows I need those deep troughs of nourishment in my life.

But don’t feel bad about wading into the shallow end. That’s where I’ve had some of my deepest conversations. And honestly, that’s where both evangelism and discipleship often take place.

Don't feel bad about wading into the shallow end. That's where I've had some of my deepest conversations. Click To Tweet

Thanks for reading, dear gal. I’ll see you here in the deep end again next week!

11 Comments
blessings// Friendship// Summer Shorts// Women's Ministry

« Boundaries 101

Comments

  1. Stacy Champion says

    July 2, 2019 at 3:40 am

    Love, love , love this! Thank you Kay!

    Reply
  2. Vickie says

    July 2, 2019 at 6:57 am

    Love, love, love this! I’m currently doing a study on discipleship and how to make that happen…I agree wholeheartedly that it can happen so simply throughout our day. Thank you for sharing

    Reply
  3. Kim says

    July 2, 2019 at 1:19 pm

    Kay,
    Very inspirational, heartfelt and wise, absolutely loved this post, clicked over from your other site, so glad I did!

    Reply
  4. Nickim298 says

    July 2, 2019 at 5:33 pm

    I love this idea! i have christian Friend who I love to meet for breakfast or lunch. we try to do this once a month or so we can catch up. We have had some deep conversations in panera bread and wonderful times of prayer.

    Reply
  5. Rebecca says

    July 2, 2019 at 8:13 pm

    Wow!! Kay, this gave me so much encouragement and peace!!! I just love your fashion blog (and several others) and I’ve been more conscious of how I present myself since I began following these blogs. But it’s easy to start thinking that’s silly – shallow! – and you’ve illustrated why it’s meaningful. Thank you for a beautiful reminder that learning to wade in the shallow end gives you the confidence to swim in the deep end. The shallow end is where so much of life happens because everyone hangs out there!

    Reply
  6. Tessa says

    July 3, 2019 at 8:32 pm

    Glad you’re back!

    Reply
  7. Pat Northcutt says

    July 10, 2019 at 5:09 am

    Got it—Thank you! (Like, Jesus didn’t spend all His time on a mountain?)

    Reply
  8. Marita Marnitz says

    September 18, 2019 at 8:49 am

    I’ve just read this post for the first time and I am so glad that I did find it. A Christian woman from South Africa, trying to live out my faith in this troubled country, it is good to hear advice from the shallow as well as the deep end.
    On a lighter note you look lovely with your long hair, but this bob also suits you so well!

    Reply
  9. PEGGY E. SMITH says

    November 8, 2019 at 9:14 pm

    What a joy to find your blog! My mother and I also shopped on Saturdays, through my school years and way beyond! It was such a ritual with us, and when at 90 years she could no longer physically travel to the stores, I would bring things to her. She would be delighted to receive new pajamas, a new scarf, lipstick or blouse. She truly was the best dressed of all her friends in the nursing home! Now that she has gone to Heaven, I wear her vintage scarves and jewelry, and I feel close to her knowing she enjoyed wearing these as well.

    Reply
  10. Paige says

    August 20, 2020 at 8:51 am

    I just found you this morning for the first time. I actually found you in the shallow waters but was intrigued that you had a devotional blog as well. Ahhhh, yes…at 72 I’ve learned that we definitely need both the deep end and the shallow end and the in between as well and God knows and uses the benefits of both. After a hard five years ending in the death … on this earth… of our pastor son in law to cancer, I’ve loved the mindless enjoyment of fashion blogs. I didn’t discover them until Covid! As I move forward in this season alongside our 40 yr old daughter and her 6 grieving kids, I especially embrace the beauty of the deep and the shallow and the need for both in our lives. Thank you, Kay!

    Reply
    • kayharms says

      August 20, 2020 at 12:43 pm

      Thanks so much for introducing yourself, Paige. It’s a pleasure. I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your son-in-law. How tragic. Bless you and your family. I’m glad you found me here. Unfortunately I don’t blog here very often any more, as you can probably see. But I do have quite a library of posts here. So I hope you enjoy them. ~ Kay

      Reply

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