Sweet sister, are you at the end…of your rope, of your wits, of your list of solutions? Does it seem that your problems have become so tangled and mangled that there is no way to unravel them? Maybe your troubles have been brewing for such a long period of time that you can’t even remember what life was like before they all began.
And you feel overcome.
Overcome with the enormity of the situation. Overcome with responsibility. Overcome with shame. Overcome with guilt. Overcome with remorse. Overcome with the dark shadows surrounding the relationship or situation. Overcome with the bleak future.
I know it may seem that you are in too deep to ever swim to the surface. How can you possibly get “on top of things” when they are weighing upon you, right?
Truthfully, when I’ve listened to some women describe the difficult situations and relationship problems they are in, I’ve wondered if there was any hope. It certainly didn’t seem like there was any solution, any hope.
But God’s Word assures us that instead of being overcome we can be overcomers. And let’s get this straight. We don’t just have to be survivors either. Victims survive, right? But overcomers are not victims; overcomers are victors. And don’t you want to be victorious?
You may be in a grand mess. I get that. But, while you may have to untangle the mess strand by tattered strand, you need to undertake that endeavor with the right attitude, the right mindset.
You need to think like an overcomer, not a victim. Here’s how:
- Do not lose heart. Choose every day not to play the victim card. That means you stop blaming, you stop lamenting the past, and you start taking personal responsibility. I know, that’s hard. And it’s really uncomfortable. But it’s where healing begins. God will only redeem that which we release to Him through taking personal responsibility of our part. (2 Corinthians 4)
- Lean hard on God. Confess your weakness, embrace your humanity, and acknowledge, through worship and submission, His great power and authority. Say it out loud. Say it many times in a day. “I am weak, but He is oh so strong!” (2 Corinthians 4)
- Be a destroyer! A destroyer of all those negative, faulty and speculative thoughts you’ve been entertaining, that is. Take every thought that comes into your head straight to Christ and ask Him if you should be thinking on it. (2 Corinthians 10:5) For a while, if you truly practice this, it may seem that He’s not allowing you to think on much of anything! That’s because you may have made it a habit to think negatively and like a victim, and He isn’t going to allow that. Instead use Philippians 4:8 as your litmus test for appropriate thoughts.
- Overcome evil with good. It’s natural to want to return evil for evil. It’s natural to want to get what’s due to you, to put your foot down, to look out for yourself, to lash back, to demand that he or she change, to rationalize your own behavior, to point out the other person’s wrong behavior. But it’s godly (and more productive) to return good for evil. That means you give grace, speak kindly, forgive, look for the positive, give of yourself sacrificially, etc. This is hard. That’s why you’ll need the Holy Spirit to take over. But it’s the only way to be an overcomer. This one warrants printing out: